Anal Sex Beginners Guide for Exploration of Pleasure

by | May 18, 2023 | Floozy's Safer Sex Guide, Taking Care of You

So maybe you have come across this article searching for ways to change up sex with your partner. Or maybe you’ve always wanted to explore the idea of anal sex but don’t know how to start?

This guide to anal sex will cover pretty much everything you need to know to get started.

Why Anal Sex?

“For men or penis owners, the reason it can feel good is because it pushes against the prostate, a walnut size gland, which can be massaged with fingers or toys,” said sex advocate Evie Plumb. “That can give them an even stronger orgasm than normal, which is why it can be so pleasurable and often gay men have anal sex.” 

But how is it pleasurable for vulvas? This isn’t always regularly discussed.

“It can feel really good and the reason is when the toy or fingers are pushed against, angled forward in the anus, it pushes against the vaginal wall and the G spot area. 

“You can basically have an orgasm by hitting a different path of the clitoris.

“I know lots of women that their best orgasm has been from some kind of anal pleasure,” said Evie. “If you’re having anal sex and then you also use clitoral external cultural stimulation. It can be crazy.”

READ: Finding Support When You Get Positive STI Test Results

Common issues

If you are nervous at all, your anus will naturally clench.

“That’s just how your body works. Even if you think you’re not nervous, you’re trying to sort yourself out. If you are, deep down, it’s going to hurt. It’s not going to work.”

A way to get around this is by starting small. Start off with fingers or smaller toys and work up to bigger things.

Lube is a must have to make it easier and less painful. You can find Evie’s own water based lube here.

If you’re worried about mess or easily get an upset stomach, you can learn how to douche.

You can also lay down a towel for cleanliness.

Consent is key 

No matter what, enthusiastic and continuous consent of all parties should be at the heart of whatever you get up to in the bedroom. 

“You should always be in control because you can then decide how much goes in or how much doesn’t go in. So a tip that I found works quite well is being on top and then you can control the speed and because I think when someone else is controlling it you don’t know how that’s you. Can’t they just go too far in or too quick and it can really help.

“There can be a lot of pressure with anal sex, like there’s something you have to tick a box, especially for in heterosexual relationships. 

“Consent needs to be happening at all times because it can hurt at the end of the day, it can be dangerous.”

Safer anal sex

When it comes to safer anal sex, protection is key.

“You need to be using a condom regardless of who you’re having sex with whether that’s penis and penis or with a toy or with a penis and a vulva”

The risk of HIV, regardless of your gender, which I think a lot of people don’t think they think I was just When gay people have anal sex at the HIV. 

If you’re rimming, so things like rim jobs, you should ideally be using dental dams.

Evie’s guide to make DIY dental dams
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 “It reduces the chances of things like HPV or herpes and things like that and just obviously because things are coming out of that area and you don’t particularly it’s not always healthy to have them in your mouth realistically, though. 

Keep it sexy; Showering together beforehand is always a good idea. 

If you’re doing it like that mouth to ask kind of thing and then specially with toys even use a condom on toys because especially if you’re sharing them. 

If you’re two vulva owners practising anal sex and using a toy and you take hands that can be a huge way of passing on STIs. 

A new condom with each new hole is always a good idea to avoid STIs in the vulva.

Regular STI tests, even if you’re with the same partner, are important. 

For couples who have been with the same partner for over a year, tests should be done yearly.

Otherwise, tests every six months or every time you’ve got a new partner is a good move.

If you’ve got open cuts on your mouth, don’t give rim jobs because that can also spread STIs. 

Evie has a full safety guide covering all “butt stuff” on her website here.

*Floozy magazine has a sponsored partnership with CliterallytheBest*

crowdsignal poll by Mmesoma Muogilim

Edited by Imogen Bowlt

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