When romantic relationships or casual encounters end, how can you break free from the cycle of seeking validation through others?
Love is addictive – and although it doesn’t come in the form of certain white powders (and hopefully doesn’t cost you 40 quid a gram), the withdrawals can be just as bad, if not worse.
After every relationship, situationship, or one night stand that turned into multiple occasions, it can be hard to get back to a life that’s just about you. In fact, it can sound a bit lonely to most.
The ‘love hangover’
A lot of people in their 20s have found a universal cure for the “love hangover”.
That feeling after your walk of shame on a drunken night out where you finally get in your own bed by yourself, eating a kebab (or just fries if you’re vegan) and your mind just can’t help but wonder “what now?”.
If you’re one of the experts, you’d know that the best way to fight a hangover is by jumping onto the next one; the same can go for relationships, more or less.
Just like that bubbly wine that just keeps calling your name from the fridge, that Tinder icon on your phone starts to seem more and more tempting.
You pop the cork, give them a call, and before you know it, you’re terrified of being alone, and the inevitable love hangover hits you.
Pressure in your 20s
Life can be fast-paced and every time you visit your parents you keep being told that you should be having the time of your life in your twenties.
“You are at your most attractive now,” they say.
So once you’ve caught a whiff of romance, does that mean you can never give it up? Is it FOMO, or a real addiction?
What to do when the relationship is over
Once a relationship ends, it’s important to call it quits and sit with yourself to process the feeling.
Did you actually enjoy what you had, or were you heading into desperate territory?
Are you dating as a coping mechanism to get over someone or not address unresolved issues you have with yourself?
All these questions can help us battle the love hangover, realign our values and help us be comfortable in our own company.
So light up some candles, grab a bowl of fruit and a book (or your favourite Floozy articles) and leave the dating apps for a while.
Once you find the high in loving yourself, the high in loving others will be even better.
Edited by Imogen Bowlt