“Fake it ‘till you make it” is a tip we’ve all heard – whether it be confidence, dating or orgasms.
However, what do you do when you feel like you’re faking it all? No matter how successful you are or how obsessed your new partner is with you, there’s a voice in your head convincing you that maybe, you’ve managed to cheat your way into your job, your education, your love life…
If this sounds like you, you might be dealing with impostor syndrome – and it’s more common than you think. It’s an internal fear, a feeling that you are a fraud in most, if not all areas of your life, even if you have the skills to back up your achievements – and dating doesn’t get a free pass.
Impostor syndrome can cast a shadow of doubt, shame and anxiety over your romantic ventures, making it harder to open up and establish genuine connections.
Floozy believes that everyone brings their own unique layer of complexity to the dating scene, which should be celebrated and embraced. We’ve prepared some tips for all of you questioning your self-worth:
Putting yourself out on the dating scene requires unshakable confidence – after all, who isn’t one bad date away from locking themselves away in their room for weeks on end? However, when dealing with impostor syndrome, it is important to fall in love with yourself before seeking external validation. Take the time to really know who you are, what you love and what you’re good at. Once you have cultivated a strong sense of self-worth that is immune to the anxieties of dating, you will be more aware (and proud) of all the things you bring to a potential relationship – no faking required!
Be open about your struggles with partners, no matter how scary it is. Communicating your fears is literally the bottom line in a healthy relationship, so don’t settle for anyone who just doesn’t care. Dealing with constant doubt and an unstable image of self can be an isolating experience – one you shouldn’t have to go through alone. Talking about your feelings with your dates or friends can help reassure you and bring some of that sweet grounding energy into your life.
Don’t put your cards on the table
It gets exhausting feeling like you’re being ingenuine. I’ve had times where I’ve been tempted to blurt out everything that’s wrong with me on the first date just to feel honest. However, trauma dumping to someone you just met is never a hot look – and there’s a good chance most of the things that bother you about yourself might not be a problem for your date at all. Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve, try and focus on all the qualities of yours you appreciate and your partner will be sure to follow!
And remember, we’re dating in 2023, everyone has at least a suitcase full of emotional baggage. Beneath the guise of impostor syndrome lies a person deserving of love and companionship. By embracing vulnerability, cultivating self-compassion, and practising authenticity, you can embark on a transformative voyage that leads to fulfilling relationships and a deeper understanding of your own worth.