Found yourself trapped in the tangled web of your own thoughts when it comes to dating and relationships? You are not alone.
You know that feeling when you want to send a text to someone you are interested in, but your brain starts playing its favourite game of hits of self doubts and worse case scenarios?
How your mind can sabotage your dating life?
It can be a never ending battle between wanting to express your feelings and the fear of coming off as too eager, clingy or literally annoying. It feels like playing chess where you try to calculate every move and anticipate every possible outcome.
I’ve overthought most of my life and countless social interactions since I was young, from worrying saying the wrong thing and making my friends not wanting to be friends anymore, to obsessing over the timing and frequency of my texts with potential partners, worrying so much about what they think and the fear of giving them the ick.
I beg my brain to to take a chill pill or I’ll soon be rocking a full head of grey hair.
While overthinking itself is not a mental illness, it is often associated with anxiety and depression.
No matter how hard we are trying to get rid of that annoying voice in our heads, it’s quite impossible.
But despite our minds chatting so much, they do not define the reality. Here are some tips that could help you quieten that annoying voice in your head telling you the very worse that could happen.
It’s very important to communicate with your partners (or even situationship) about your overthinking. Read our article about situationships on our website.
Remember that they are not mind readers, and neither are you. Sharing your thoughts and concerns with them will save you from a lot of arguments and misunderstandings, and help you create a safe space of understanding and connection.
Don’t jump to conclusions
As tempting as it is, try not to create wild scenarios and jump to conclusions faster than a kangaroo on caffeine.
Everything has an explanation, so try to resist the urge.
Just because they haven’t replied to your text yet, it doesn’t mean they don’t want to talk to you or that they are avoiding your texts. They might be busy doing something or just have bad connection. We all have a life at the end of the day, so give them the benefit of the doubt and remember that sometimes life gets in the way.
Be around people
Keeping your mind occupied is probably one of the best tips for over thinkers.
Your brain it’s already acting like it’s on cocaine 24/7 jumping from one thing to another.
You texted them- were you too straight forward?
Will they think you are too much?
But you said what you wanted to say.
But, what if?
This is just how an over thinker’s brain works. Being around people (people that you like, of course) helps quite a lot. It helps in getting your mind away, but most importantly, helps you see the raw situation, not what your mind wants you to see.
Meet up with a friend or call them if you feel lie you are overthinking something. The situation might not be as bad as you think. And even if it is, there’s always a solution.
Remember that overthinking is normal, nobody’s got it all figured out despite how confident they may seem. Embrace your overthinking self and laugh off those inevitable overthinking moments, because if someone can handle your chaotic mind they are definitely a keeper.
And remember, fake it till you make it.
Edited by Imogen Bowlt