Vanilla Sex vs BDSM: Your Choice Between the Sheets

by | May 25, 2023 | Let's talk about Sex

What happens when one of you is into vanilla ice cream and the other is into whipped cream?

When it comes to sex, attraction is sometimes not enough. People have different sexual needs, preferences and turn ons from each other, especially if one person is into vanilla sex and the other is into BDSM.

We’ve all been there, ready for some sexy time, you discover that their desires resemble a jalapeño while yours are more like a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Or the other way around ;).

That’s completely normal as some people are just not compatible in bed. I know what you are thinking, how can I be attracted to them, but not be sexually compatible? Well, attraction and sex are not the same.

Compatibility in Bed

Sexual compatibility is how well you and your partner balance and fulfil each other’s sexual needs and desires. So when it comes to what’s happening between the sheets, communication and agreement are the keys for great sex. Asking your partner what they like and what they would be willing to try, finding their turns ons and turns offs, can help a lot when getting to action.

From scented candles and rose petals to furry handcuffs and blindfolds, sex is very diverse. Some people like it gentle and slow, others like it rough. Hell, some people might like both. All are completely fine as long as you give and ask for consent.

Of course, we know that some people might not know these terms so I’m here to help you and give you some insight on vanilla sex.

Vanilla Sex

Inspired by the extract for a basic ice cream flavour, the term describes conventional sex, something our GCSE biology books would show us. However, that doesn’t mean it has to always be mainstream and standard sex with endearing whispers in your ears and one position only.

From the missionary position, you can transition to other positions (like doggy style or reverse cowboy) and shift to a wilder experience without necessarily acting like you are in 50 shades of Grey.

We all have specific turn ons and sexual desires, so, start by communicating with your partner what you want, how you like it and what feels good, a.k.a. engage in dirty talking. It helps a lot too.

Vanilla sex doesn’t have to be plain and simple. Buying sex toys that could help enhance your pleasure. Remember, sex toys are not your enemy, but your ally.

READ: Curious About Using Sex Toys with Your Partner?

So, if vanilla sex is not for you and you want to try something new, remember, communication is the key.

I love a good vanilla ice cream don’t get me wrong, but sometimes you just want to try something more intense, and that’s completely normal. Now, you don’t have to buy a whip to spice up your sex life. You could start by including a blindfold in your foreplay.

If you feel like trying more, you can try telling them to pull your hair once in a while.

Communication is very important during sex. Remember you are meant to have get pleasure out of it not stress. So, whether you are into vanilla sex or BDSM, just enjoy your time, communicate your needs and trust me you will experience one of the finest fucks ever.

Read our article on BDSM, if you are interested in spicing your sex life a bit more.

Edited by Mmesoma Muogilim and Ramona Gabriela Toderascu

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