Pigeon Girl: Tinder Date Gone Wrong

by | May 27, 2023 | Out of the Closet

Little did I know that I, a pigeon, would be the reason that I would end a first date.

I began talking to this girl who I met on Tinder.

She seemed pretty and nice to talk to.

I split up with my previous girlfriends around a year before and the break up was pretty rough, so I took my time getting back in the dating pool.

But this girl seemed like someone that I wanted to get to know.

Even though she lived around an hour’s train ride away, I thought she would be worth the journey and wanted to meet her in person.

READ: Hickey Horror Story: I Went On a Date With a Hickey From His Best Friend – Floozy

The pigeon date

Illustrated by Audrey Chow

We met up in Lincoln and planned to spend the day together.

We went out and things appeared to be going well.

However this was short-lived. After two hours, we were walking along in town when she saw a pigeon in the street.

“Oo a pigeon she exclaimed, and ran straight up to it.

And then,


Red flag.

Alarm bells.

“Hold it,” she said eagerly, offering it up to me.

“Um, no thanks!” I said, a little bit terrified.

I was obviously startled by this and already decided I wouldn’t be seeing her again. But I felt rude leaving and so I decided to stick it out.

After this, we went back to her house because she said that she needed to pick something up.

The next thing I knew, we were on the streets again, with a bunch of breadcrumbs that she scattered around us which attracted all the pigeons around.

I made my excuses and left. I never saw her again and she became no more than an anecdote for me to tell as my designated ‘Tinder Horror story’.

One year later

I was scrolling through Instagram.

I came across her account with a post of a guy smiling into a camera with the caption, “I found the one.”

It was all clear now, it was a test.

Well, at least she’s found her match, good for her.

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Edited by Imogen Bowlt and Audrey Chow

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