Have you ever asked your parents what the real meaning behind 69 is?
Yeah, me neither. I would rather watch paint dry than delving into the realm of sex talk with my dear parents.
Picture this, having an abortion has become as casual as accidentally dropping an item you don’t want no more, well, at least in the UK.
Yet sex is still a taboo topic, especially when it comes to talking about it with your dear old parents. However, let’s pause for a sec and think of the value, humour and engagement that can come from embracing these conversations.
Buckle up, Floozies, as we dive into why we should let go of the taboo and start talking about sex with our parents.
Ah, the everlasting taboo of sex! Lurking around us for decade, making us squirm in our seats and avoiding eye contact like it’s a swarm of bees.
Most people out there feel utterly awkward when it comes to discussing the birds and the bees with their parents.
I think we’ve all been in the position where we are watching a film with our parents, then a sex scene comes on. Suddenly, the information on your pack of malteasers becomes VERY interesting.
But fear not loves, because here we have Rebecca Dakin, aka ‘The British Sexpert’, a relationship, sex and dating counsellor to talk to us about the shame and embarrassment surrounding sex conversations.
Conversations with the Sexpert
Rebecca explained how the shame surrounding this topic isn’t anyone’s fault but peoples’ parents’ fault for not talking about it.
Yeah, I know. Who would have thought? Not me.
She said: “There are generations of parents, that perhaps themselves felt embarrassed to ask their own parents about sex when they were young, which obviously its now projected on their children not feeling comfortable enough to ask them about it.”
“I’ve done blowjobs classes and had clients coming in with their parents because they wanted to learn too due to their lack of knowledge.”
She explained how it’s more than important for parents to have these conversations with their children, and not only about sex, but masturbation as well because that should not be a taboo topic either.
She said: “Shielding children from conversations about sex and masturbation will just affect them in the future.”
“These conversations are noted enough with parents, therefore when they reach to that age when they start exploring, they feel like they cannot talk about it to their parents, so they end up getting their information from the internet.”
Dakin explained how a lot of people learn from porn, and highlighted how it’s not even real, but more than a performance than actual sex.
Therefore, there should be conversations leading up to that age so that people feel comfortable to talk about sex with their parents and not rely on the internet.
She said: “The internet does nothing but creating unrealistic expectations regarding how sex should feel like, or what a vagina or penis should look like, which eventually will affect people in the future as they might develop insecurities about their own bodies or experience in general, impacting their sexual interactions with other people.”
As someone who grew up with two slightly conservative Eastern European parents, you can imagine that having these conversations can be a bit tricky.
Especially if your dad has a bit of an old mentality and your sex talk would concept of him letting you know that your mom was ‘pure’ when they got married.
I know, how cliché, thanks dad.
Little does he know that his little girl needs some holy water.
Anyhow, sex conversations can have a cultural element as well, with different cultures and different countries having different opinions about sex.
Sex Talk around the World
Elka Vasileva, a 47 year old who is now a parent of her own, talked about how growing up in Bulgaria, in an old-fashioned family who didn’t even bother telling her about where babies come from – the topic of sex and genitals was dismissed with a swift ‘you’re too young for that’.
She said: “When I got my first period at 11 years old during school, I thought I was about to die.”
Elka explained how her mom never explained to her about periods and the fact that they are completely natural.
“When she came to pick me up all bloody, terrified and humiliated, she just told me to stop crying and stuff some cotton up there.”
That being during communism in Eastern Europe, Elka explained how the only way she felt she could go out and gain any information on sex was by experiencing it herself.
She said: “If my parents had been more open about it, I would have saved myself from some embarrassing one-night stands.”
So, when it comes to having The Talk, discussing sex with your parents should be normalised.
It might be awkward at first, but it will help you a lot in the future.
So, take the bull by the horns and add a little bit of spice to your talk about sex, what could go wrong? Well, besides the awkwardness, but hey, that’s temporary while your sexual life is forever, or at least until you reach the age when you need Viagra or just a fresher meat.
Edited by Mmesoma Muogilim