Ah, ‘The One’. Floozy members talk about what makes your partner the solid match(es).
You surely have heard of the concept of a seemingly perfect ‘happily ever after’ that numerous fairytales and rom-coms have long perpetuated.
Don’t get me wrong, this is 2023, and the idea of having one single person in this whole universe that’s destined to be your soulmate since birth might not be the case, and there’s absolutely no definite formula that equals to ‘The One’.
(Read our articles about polyamory: Boundaries in polyamory: What other people can learn & Open relationships and polyamory: What’s the difference?)
However, there are signs in your relationship that indicate they might stick around for longer than you expect them to be.
1. They don’t disrespect you even in the middle of an argument
Gabby Toderascu said you want (and really, need) someone that respects you no matter what.
She said, “Even if the argument hasn’t been solved or no matter how angry you still are, you still say ‘I love you’ or ‘Goodnight’ to each other.”
It’s even better if you and your partner have developed your own way of communication — this doesn’t have to be for everyone, if it works for you, it’s perfect.
On that note, it should be the case that they will try their hardest to learn about you, figure out what makes you smile, and don’t make mountains out mole hills when you fight.
P.S. Don’t fret if you haven’t learnt how to find common ground from the get-go, check out Lessons I’ve learned about communication)
2. They feel like home
Audrey Chow said, “Obviously no one is perfect and there are times where you are not your bubbliest self or don’t even feel like yourself. ‘The One’ is just like a comfy safety blanket and someone with whom you don’t feel pressure to be perfect 24/7.”
That means that you could probably bawl your eyes out in front of them without feeling embarrassed.
If you find someone who you feel totally comfortable and vulnerable around, they have real long-term potential!
3. When they help you grow and love you throughout
Yoan Shterev is not sure if he believes in ‘The One’ but he believes your ideal forever person(s) is someone who will help you change in unexpected ways.
He said, “Even if you are a different person now than when you two fell in love, they find joy in your mutual growth and find new things to appreciate about you.”
At their core, a relationship should be for the better for you (hopefully) — you naturally adapt and evolve and like yourselves better when you’re with them.
4. They witness your flaws and still love you.
It’s very crucial to note there’s a difference between keeping rose-tinted spectacles on all the time (even after the honeymoon phase), proceed to ignore your partner’s shortcomings, and actually seeing their flaws and tolerating them.
Nevertheless, never ignore red flags that are hanging high in the sky and bother the heck out of you (usually you’ll know by your intuition).
But you want to be with someone for the long haul, their weaknesses should be manageable and not really peeve you and vice versa.
5. You’ll lean on each others shoulders when life gets tough
This one might seem like a no-brainer, but sadly that’s not always the case in the realm of modern dating.
Obviously, they probably don’t know therapy-talk, but it is vital that they won’t abandon you in the middle of your life crises or when shit hits the fan.
With that said, you also have to put in the effort and if they really spark light in times of darkness for you, they’re a keeper!
Above all, my dear floozies, bear in mind that your other half doesn’t necessarily have to check off all the boxes, but when you find someone that really clicks and does most of the above, you might have just found your future spouse, and saying “I do” may just be around the corner for you.
Edited by Elena Baeza Ruso