‘Did you come?’ Yes, to the wrong fucking house.

Have you ever had sex and you are just there waiting for the grand finale, but it never comes? Yeah, me too. Been there for probably more than I can count on my fingers.

I think I can speak for a lot of people when I say I’m not the only one who’s ever faked an orgasm. Like I should have gotten an Oscar by now from all the groans and moans I faked just to save my previous partners’ fragile egos. And how could I not? Like how do you even bring this up? ‘Hey Harry, you know that mind-blowing orgasm you think you gave me? Sike, it was fake. In fact, I’ve been here waiting for you to finish and leave, just so that I finish myself up. Something that I’m clearly better at doing than you are.’

You know what they say, what they don’t know can’t hurt them. But let’s face it, Harry deserves to know that his performance could use a little, um, enhancement. And you deserve to come, whether through oral, penetration or just your own hand.

Having sex is an intimate moment, and the both of you need to be considerate of one another’s needs. But, we also need to remember that our partners can’t read our mind, and neither can we read theirs. And if it happens to be someone who we haven’t had sex with before, we can’t expect them to know our bodies and desires yet.

How do you tell them?

Communication is very important when it comes to sex. And before you say it, I know that it’s hard and awkward, especially if you don’t want to hurt their ego, but sometimes you just have to rip the band aid off. Giving them some tips and perhaps a roadmap with X marks on it, will help you and them a lot.

So, have an honest conversation with them about your pleasure preferences. Teach them what you like and how you like it, and even show them for a better understanding. Guide your partner towards the secret codes that unlock your orgasms, and together you can turn those disappointing and frustrating experiences into fireworks.