What was his name? Josh? No. Tom? Nah. Sam! Yeah, that’s the one.
Ever forgot your one night stand’s name? Cause I surely did. Now, before you come at me, that entire night is a blur. It was after I submitted one of my long ass essays which surprise surprise, I left till the very last minute. So, like anyone else, I went out, obviously, and may or may not drank too many tequila shots, and probably inhaled a bit too much fairy dust if you know what I mean. So you can imagine how mortified I was when I was doing the deed and forgot their name.
During sex, you don’t really use names. But sometimes, they just slip out. And oh boy, it slipped out in a very bad way. Picture this, we are having *whispers* s e x, when my mouth starts to betray me. Usually I mumble a lot, so I hoped the same would happen this time. Sike, I pronounced his name as clear as I fucking could. It was like I was at a fucking spelling competition.
‘Oh yeah, James. Go harder” I say off my tits in the moment.
When he suddenly stops and says:
“My name’s not James, it’s Sam.”
Fuck My Life!
As you can imagine, everything went down the hill. As down as his erection, may I add. And honestly, I can’t blame him. If the roles were reversed I would go as dry as the Sahara.
Now, telling him I was dyslexic was not an option. Maybe that I am bilingual? Nope, that won’t work either. So I did what anyone in that situation would do, pretend that I didn’t know what he was talking about. Was I gaslighting him into thinking he heard me wrong? Fuck yes, I was. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. And despite how much I hate gas-lighters, I had to become one to get myself out of the situation.
And guess what, it worked. We went back to action, and believe it or not, the sex improved so much more. It’s like me calling him another guy’s name gave him the motivation to do a better job.
So, if you ever forgot your one night stands name during sex, you are not alone. It happens. Just make sure to have a good excuse ready.