Dodging cupid’s arrows like they are some sexual disease? You are not alone.
The world of dating. Full of flirt, chemistry and lots of sex, but wait, there’s something else. Rejection.
Whether you are the one mastering it or receiving it, it’s awkward and less easy each time.
Ever been in the position when someone you know is giving you hints that they want to ask you out?
Or been part of a failing talking stage that you’ll rather exchange for watching paint dry than continuing just because of how boring it is?
Yeah me too, to both of them. I’ve rejected and been rejected myself, and neither of them is easy to do or take.
Now, some may say that rejecting is easier than being rejected because it hurts less, I mean you just say ‘No’ right?
But, how do you gracefully decline someone’s advances without causing a dating disaster and awkward encounters every time you see each other at the pub?
Especially if you know them, and you bump into each other all the time? Don’t worry, I’ve got you.
How do you reject someone?
As someone who’s very picky when it comes to boys, my notes app is full of rejecting messages I’ve wrote throughout the years to people I was not interested in.
From close friends that fancied me but who I didn’t share the same interest with, to people who I’ve tried to have a connection with but miserably failed.
There is no easy way to reject someone, unless you don’t really care of what they’ll think of you after. Which in this case, I want to be you.
But if it happens to be someone you know and most likely bump into them all the time, you need to use your best cards.
Trust me, you would be shocked how small the world is. So, here are some tips in the subtle act of rejection.
Sometimes, being honest is the best. Let them know that you are not interested or that you simply don’t feel it.
However, sometimes honesty isn’t always the best policy when it comes to gentle letdowns.
So, if that doesn’t apply to your situation or need something more concrete here as some tips.
‘I’m really focusing on myself at the moment’
Say less, I mean, what could they say to that? We are in an era where prioritising yourself is it. No more explanations. You do you love, become the best version of yourself.
‘I’ve got plenty of exams and work to do’
I mean, whats more important than your education? No one can argue with that. Unless they really don’t want you to succeed, which in that case, you definitely want to get rid of them.
‘It’s not you, it’s me’
Ah, my favourite and funniest line ever. It really isn’t you, it’s me. Well, maybe it’s a bit them, oh yeah, it’s definitely them, but they don’t need to know that. What they don’t know can’t hurt them.
Sometimes you just gotta blame it on quirky personal quirks or imaginary incompatibilities, anything that will get you out of the situation.
Now, if these don’t work either, you gotta bring the big guns in.
Change the subject
Abort the mission, especially if you don’t know how to reject them. Act like you’ve seen something very interesting like a dog, change their attention to something else.
As someone who acts like they’ve seen God himself when they see a dog, trust me it works.
Even if the dog is not there, pretend that you saw a spider, anything at this point that could get you out of the situation.
Sometimes, you just have to play dumb in order to get out of a situation.
If they ask you what you are doing next week, answer in a very rational way like they just asked the most dumb question ever. What am I doing next week? Uni? I mean what else would I be doing? not you, thats for sure.
So, loves, there you have it, how to reject someone in a simple and classy way. Remember in the world of dating rejection is part of the game. So no matter how bad you feel for them it’s just how it has to be sometimes.
Last thing you want to do is force yourself to be with someone just because you don’t wanna hurt their feelings. Trust me, been there, done that, and it’s not gonna end well.
Yes, rejecting someone can feel like you’re breaking up with them before you even started dating.
Some people may take it very well and laugh it off with their friends, while some may take it as the biggest insult ever, thinking that something must be wrong with them and they’ll end up dying alone with 6 cats.
But, let’s be real, rejection is not the end of the world.
I mean, yes you might have some cats in the future, but being rejected by the odd Ben in uni won’t prevent you from finding the love of your life.
Let’s get real, we are not compatible with everyone. They could be a 10 out of 10 in terms of looks, but personality wise there is nothing behind them eyes.
Just because someone doesn’t fancy us, doesn’t mean no one else will. So, if you get rejected, don’t worry, it just adds to the plot. And if you are the one rejecting, I hope these tips will help.
Next Read: Jealousy: Surviving the Green Eyed Monster
Edited by Mmesoma Muogilim