Thinking about it now, as a woman, my experience with BDSM was sexist as fuck.

I met this heterosexual guy on Tinder whose sole purpose was to find people to do BDSM with. Specifically, he was looking for a “sub”. He was an expert, but he said “beginners are welcome”. So I got curious.

If you don´t know what BDSM is, you can check out our article: ‘Your BDSM Starter Kit‘

I met up with him for dinner at a restaurant. I really wanted to be in a public space before because he didn´t even have his real name or his picture on the dating app. My friend was so scared for me, she even came to “spy” on us and make sure I wasn´t killed.

The ‘date’

Then, when we went to his place, she also followed us there and stayed outside for the whole time. 

He lived in a three-floor house by himself. We started out in the living room, where we spent a good amount of time until he decided to move the party to the room.

He made me go upstairs all handcuffed from hands AND feet. I was also wearing a mask. I spent a long time inside the room without having a clue what it looked like.

When I finally saw it, it literally looked like a replication of 50 Shades of Grey. I´m not kidding.

I was handcuffed, had a muzzle in my mouth, a chastity belt on and a literal collar with a chain. He also made me walk like a dog around his house. And that was just the beginning. 

He hit me. So much. But like, so so so much. With many different ‘utensils’.

He told me what to say, he asked me to say “please” and “thank you” all the time. I had to call him “the master”. 

He didn´t eat me out or even kiss me on the lips not once. It was mainly focused on his pleasure. When we finished, I asked him why and he said because that´s how it is (for him) as the dominant role. 

That really surprised me. 

Something else that surprised me was that he asked me to eat out his butt.

When you think about it, it might not be a common thing, but something I have noticed with all heterosexual men I´ve been with, is they really enjoy getting their butt eaten out. 

It surprised me but at the same time, it didn´t. Now he´s obsessed with me because I ate him out too well.

And now the fact that he´s so obsessed with me and keeps asking me when we will meet up again, is a bit overwhelming. 

But overall, I guess I kinda liked it. 

What I didn´t like was the fact that he was either hitting me all the time or fucking me and giving me pleasure. It wasn´t blended. It was one. Big space. And the other. 

Personally, I would have rather mix up the pain and the pleasure (like Zayn on Pillowtalk) because, for me, that´s the whole point of it.

Edited by Elena Baeza Ruso and Imogen Bowlt